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{Politics.690.9}: furryriverrat {riverrat} Tue, 11 Aug 2009 23:32:45 EDT (32 lines)

Top 10 signs you're a fundamental christian. 10 - You vigorously deny
the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but
feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours. 9 - You feel
insulted and “dehumanized” when scientists say that people evolved
from other life forms, but you have no problem with the biblical claim
that we were created from dirt. 8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you
have no problem believing in a trinity god. 7 - Your face turns purple
when you hear of the “atrocities” attributed to allah, but you don’t
even flinch when hearing about how god/jehovah slaughtered all the
babies of Egypt in “Exodus” and ordered the elimination of entire
ethnic groups in “Joshua” including women, children, and trees! 6 -
You laugh at hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about
gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the
Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got
killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky. 5 - You are
willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the
scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you
find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age
tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few
generations old. 4 - You believe that the entire population of this
planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs — though
excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an
infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most
“tolerant” and “loving.” 3 - While modern science, history, geology,
biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot
rolling around on the floor speaking in “tongues” may be all the
evidence you need to “prove” christianity. 2 - You define 0.01% as a
“high success rate” when it comes to answered prayers. You consider
that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the
remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of god. 1 - You actually
know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible,
christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a christian. ..

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